People tell me life is bolony
Dull as pea soup blind as macaroni
And on their travels food is appalling
No tasty mussels, standards are falling

Dumb waiters always ignore you
Dumb waiters they just abhor you
Dumb waiters don't even see you see you
Waste away

My friend's a health freak, he runs a plantation
He says the soybean shall nourish the nation
Don't go to restaurants, they only make you throw up
My girlfriend she said, 'Whenever will you grow up?'

Dumb waiters always ignore you
Dumb waiters they just abhor you
Dumb waiters don't even see you see you
Waste away
Take it away!

Dumb waiters always ignore you
Dumb waiters they just abhor you
Dumb waiters don't even see you see you
Waste away

Ooh
Dumb waiters
Dumb waiters
Dumb waiters
Dumb waiters
Dumb waiters
Dumb waiters
Dumb waiters