Nice man in a half nice suit
One wife, two flings
Still - nothing to lose
(He mows the lawn)
Destined to be eternally bored
Hates his job, and his chores
But God he loves that lawn
(He mows the lawn!)

(Wu-oh, deere john!)
Won’t you mow my lawn?
(Wu-oh, deere john!)
When are you coming home?
Go inside and face your wife

Pale man with a very pale complexion
He knows she knows
All about his new affection
(He mows the lawn)
Made their vows for better or worse
She sweeps the house
He cleans the car
He wants a beemer
She’d prefer a hearse
(He mows the lawn)

(Wu-oh, deere john!)
Won’t you mow my lawn?
(Wu-oh, deere john!)
When are you coming home?
Go inside and face your wife

'Cause you’re too old for nightlife!

Came home too late one night
Couldn’t look her in the eyes
Put his head under that mower
As he slowly pulled it closer

(Wu-oh, deere john!)
Won’t you mow my lawn?
(Wu-oh, deere john!)
When are you coming home?
Go inside and face your wife

(Wu-oh, deere john!)
When are you going back inside?
(Wu-oh, deere john!)
Because I think it’s about time
Go inside and face your wife!