C#m
    I was thrilled to be a man
C#m
I was elated, except for one thing
C#m
I went to work
C#m
For the scientific research community
C#m
Up to that point, I'd always been called "Timmy"
C#m
But there was this one dude there, Cosset - Senior, he 
always called me by my real name
C#m
"Hey Timmis"
C#m
"Ugh dude can we just not do this today?"
C#m
"I need the ammonia oxide, Timmis"
C#m
"It's Timmy, Cossett! How many times do I have to tell 
you, Timmy, please!"
C#m
C#m
"Yeah, I understand, yes, my legal name is Timmis but I
 would really appreciate if you called me Timmy."
C#m
"Oh, you're name's Timmy 'cause you're a little boy! 
Why don't you grow up and go by your real name, 
Timmis."
C#m
"Shut the fuck up, Cossett."
C#m
"Hold on let me- let me peer review that name tag. Oh, 
it looks like Timmis!"
C#m
"Stop it dude."
C#m
"Why don't you come calibrate this barometer for me, 
Timmis?'
C#m
"We don't even use barometers in here it's like a 
chemical reaction lab, what are you talking about?"
C#m
"The only chemical reaction going on in this lab is you
 getting mad about your own name."
C#m
"Dude, I'm not mad I'm just asking you please don-"
C#m
"Bring it over here, Timmis."
C#m
"Dude please just sto-"
C#m
"I'm not gonna call you Timmy, Timmis. Thats for 
little- (laughter) Timmy's for little boys.
C#m
Your name's Timmis. Timmis, we need the nitrate, now"
C#m
"Oh oh, oh I meant to say Timmy! Timmy, bring me the- 
oh your name's Timmy cause you're a little boy!"
C#m
Timmis (x a lot)

[Chorus]
C#m
I think this is affecting me mentally
C#m
Like long term shit it's gonna fuck with me
C#m
I think that this is gonna fuck me up
C#m
Why does everybody always call me that?
C#m
I think this is affecting me mentally
C#m
Like long term shit it's gonna fuck with me
C#m
I think that this is gonna fuck me up
C#m
Why does everybody always call me that?

E|-16----------16----------| 
B|----17----------17-------| 
G|-------18----------18----| 
D|----------18----------18-| 
A|-------------------------| 
E|-------------------------| 

C#m
I think this is affecting me mentally
C#m
Like long term shit it's gonna fuck with me
C#m
I think that this is gonna fuck me up
C#m
Why does everybody always call me that?
C#m
I think this is affecting me mentally
C#m
Like long term shit it's gonna fuck with me
C#m
I think that this is gonna fuck me up
C#m
Why does everybody always call me that?

E|-------------------------8--8--8--8--7--7--6--6--| 
B|-------------5--5--5--5--------------------------| 
G|-6--6--6--6--------------------------------------| 
D|-------------------------------------------------| 
A|-------------------------------------------------| 
E|-------------------------------------------------| 

C#m
I think this is affecting me mentally (Timmis!)
C#m
Like long term shit it's gonna fuck with me (Oh, 
Timmis!)
C#m
I think that this is gonna fuck me up
C#m                       N.C.
Why does everybody always call me that?

[Bridge]
C#m                               E       B
    Oxide. Thats for little boys, Timmis. Timmis
A#                     A  N.C.
WHY CE S EVERYBODY ALWAYS CALL ME THAT?
C#m E         B     A# A
      CALL ME THAT?

[Verse 1]
C#m E
    So I did the only thing I could
B
  I quit my job
         A#    A
Faked my death
                      C#m
Started a new life in Schenectady, New York
                  E
As a music journalist
                    B
But even in that gig I couldn't go by TImmy
            A#  A
I had to be Tim
             C#m
Tim Schenectady

[Verse 2]
                C#m
Cause I've been bullied too many times
    E
Now I'm gonna lose my mind
  B             A#        A
Because you all fucked me up
C#m
Bullied too many times
    E
Now I'm gonna lose my mind
  B             A#        A
Because you all fucked me up

[Outro]
C#m E
    Wow, I'm actually just realizing
    B                                           
I'm actually just realizing I'm really mentally 
                     A#
affected by all this
  A                                           C#m
I think all these memories- they're making me really 
bitter, all these experiences
    E
And I've just been giving all these artists terrible 
reviews
B
  What have I been doing with my life?
A#        A
Thomas listen
            C#m
From now on every album, every album we do gets a 
hundred
E
Across the board
            B
This is not gonna be another one of those negative
A#                A
Case making sites
                                C#m
This is going to be a place for positive thinking
                                   E
People who love music are going to flock to this
                                 B
Every album gets a perfect score
                              A#
From now on this is a new era of music journalism
A              N.C.
Every album is gonna be a number one fucking hit
N.C.
Because of us us us us us us us