Stan's the man, Stan's the man! If he can't do it nobody can!
That Stanley... Mr. Spadowski
Mr. "I can clean the world!"
How do you do it? You clean the toilets!
And just look at those floors!

Stanley, how do you do it?
You're even a T.V. star!
You've got your own show, but where do you go?
You run and grab that mop and do your thing.
The Stanley Groove! The Spadowski Swing!

People! Hey, people I said, look at the Stan Man go!
He's got his mop
Yeah, he's on top
Of this clean planet earth don't you know?

Stanley, he's the master of mops
Stanley, he'll bust you in the chops
Stanley, keep moppin' them floors
Because when the dirt's all gone, we'll find you some more!

If you should be so lucky, to see him and his mop.
Shake his hand and pat him on the back.
He deserves it, he works harder than you or me.
He's Stanley Spadowski, and he could kick our asses with his mop
Quite easily.