Brian's car is a piece of shit
The locks are broken and the clock doesn't tick
There's all these white spots on the roof
But then again he's punk so it's cool
Brian, your car really sucks
All your flat tires in the trunk
Every time you hit the brakes
The car feels like it's dying in pain

Brian just walk around
Don't drive that thing around town
(don't you drive that car)
Brian just trade it in
(trade it in)
Get a bicycle, just don't drive that car

So every day we go to school
Driving in that car, we don't look cool
When we get on Rt. 522
We pass everyone as they scream
All of the kids in the other cars
Laughing at us as we struggle on
But me and Brian, we don't care
As Run DMC blasts on the speakers

Brian just walk around
Don't drive that thing around town
(don't you drive that car)
Brian just trade it in
(trade it in)
Get a bicycle, just don't drive that car

Brian just walk around
I'm sick of seeing your car in town
Brian just take the bus
You're better off, it's less of a fuss
Brian get a ride with Brad
He'll listen to Phish
But it won't be so bad
Brian driving's not for you
Why don't you just go off and pooh