MRS JOHNSTONE :
The house we got was lovely
The neighbours are a treat
They sometimes fight on Saturday night
But never in the week
Since I pay me bills on time
The milkman insists I call him Joe
He brings me bread and eggs
Says I've got legs
Like Marilyn Monroe

Sometimes he takes takes me dancin'
Even takes me dancin'
I know our Sammy burnt the school down
Well it's very easily done
If the teacher lets the silly gets
Play with magnesium
Thank God he only got probation
The judge was old and slow
Though it was kind of him
Said I reminded him of Mailyn Monroe

JUDGE :
And could I take you dancing?
I'd love to take you dancing young lady

MRS JOHNSTONE :
Our Mickey's just turned fourteen
Y'know he's at that age
When you mention girls or courting
He flies into a rage
He's got a thing for taking blackheads out
And he thinks that I don't know
That he dreams all night of girls
Who look like Marilyn Monroe
He even started dancing, secret dancing
As for the rest, they've flown the nest
Got married or moved away
Our Donna Marie's already got three
She'a bit like me that way
And that other child of mine
I haven't seen for years
Although each day I pray he'll be OK
Unlike poor Marilyn Monroe