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[Verse 1]             
D                                             G                       D  
Slim Chance and the Can't Hardly Playboys are pickin' at your local saloon
           G               D                                          A 
They got a new song out on Polish Records, it'll be a Polish hit real soon
     D                                    G             D
They picked every honky-tonk and bar from here to Timbuktu
     G                           D            A                       D
Slim Chance and the Can't Hardly Playboys are bustin' their butts for you

[Verse 2]
D                                           G             D
Out where the cars are up on blocks and the houses are on wheels
G                   D                                         A
Slim and a big time bookin' agent, they cooked up a hell of a deal
       D                               G            D
They'd pick every Wal-Mart parkin' lot across the USA
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If the Good Lord's willin' and the creek don't rise and they figure out how to get paid

[Verse 3]
   G                              D
No Chance was the only chance the Playboys ever had
                                                          A
No matter how they picked 'em, everything they played was bad
     D                                            G                   D 
Then Slim come along and he played the songs that stick right in your head
     G                           D            A                     D  
Slim Chance and the Can't Hardly Playboys are really a-knockin' 'em dead

[Instrumental]
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[Verse 4]
D                        G                  D
Esmeralda Muckinfuch was Slim's good timin' gal
    G              D                             A
She wasn't much to look at but Slim loved her anyhow
             D                                  G                 D
You couldn't beat her when she's sober, but you had to when she's drunk
       G                      D                 A                   D  
We all called her the Country Kitty, 'cause she smelled just like a what in the world was that?

[Verse 5]
     G                          D      
Slim Chance could be anyone who hangs out in a bar
                                          A
Or any local yokel who sings and plays guitar
        D                                   G                  D      
All the boys and girls around the world now they know who they are
     G                   D                     A           D
Slim Chance is about the best chance that they got to be a star

[Verse 6]
D                                               G       D
Yesterday I couldn't even spell star, and now I are one
        G                     D
I say I ain't but a star I are
                                     A
Do they not know who we think we are?
    A                                                        
I'm tellin' ya we're gonna get 500 a gig or we ain't playin!
D
I think we need some of them whores dejours
                 G                                      D
And some of them carrots and other things people get in back of the stage
                            G                                                        D
We need some of them little sausages on toothpicks, maybe a dressing room (that'd be good)