Tulane and Johnny opened a novelty shop
Back under the counter was the cream of the crop
Everything was clickin' and the business was good
One day, lo and behold an officer stood
Johnny jumped the counter but he stumbled and fell
Tulane made it over, Johnny belted a yell

Well get on Tulane, he can't catch up with you
Go Tulane, he ain't man enough for you
Go Tulane, use all the speed you gotta
Go Tulane, you know you need allot to
Go Tulane, he's laggin behind
Go get on Tulane

Go by your father's house and tell him business is slow
And see if he will loan us somethin', soon as you hit the door
Put the cat out in the hall and rumple up the room
Go by Doctor Kellers, tell him you swallowed some perfume
Tell him we need him quick cuz he may have to testify
That you been sick all day and that's a perfect alibi

Well get on Tulane, he can't catch up with you
Go Tulane, he ain't man enough for you
Go Tulane, use all the speed you gotta
Go Tulane, you know you need allot to
Go Tulane, he's laggin behind
Go get on Tulane

Go let Danny drive in case you run into the Man
Back by the shop and get the stuff and hide it in the van
Go back by your Father's, get the money for the bail
And bring it down and bail me out of this rotten, funky jail
We gotta get a lawyer in the click with politics
Somebody who can win the thing, or get the thing fixed

Well get on Tulane, he can't catch up with you
Go Tulane, he ain't man enough for you
Go Tulane, use all the speed you gotta
Go Tulane, you know you need allot to
Go Tulane, he's laggin behind
Go get on Tulane