I promise that you'll never
Find another like me
I know that I'm a handful baby, uh
I know you've got a leg I want to hump
And you're the kind of guy the ladies shun
I watch a lot of Netflix in my underwear

I know that I get
Hornier than most
I know I never leave your butt alone
And trouble's gonna
Follow where I go
And there's a lot of fruit snacks out there

But one of these things
Is not Donald Glover
I'm a thicc cow with unpleasant udders
Baby doll, when it comes to the colors
I'm yellow, purple, yellow
Purple, yellow, purple, green

I'm the only one of me
Swear an oath of celibacy
Pikachu
You're the only one I choose
Motherfukin' Pikachu
And I promise that your mother
Doesn't love you, she's mean

I know I tend to
Overdo this meme
I'm bleaching all my
Hair fot Halloween
'Cause I will never bore of fieri
Sham-a-lam-a-ding-dong!
Right on!
And when we had that
Game night with 2 chainz
You were gonna cheat
And call T-Pain
Never wanna see you at my place
I've got a lot of same-sized underwear

'Cause oreos, chips ahoys
Nutter butters
Famous amos, thin mints
Motherfucker!
Baby doll, when it comes to the numbers
I'm 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13

Even tough I
Say I'm clean
I'll shit right on your property
Nancy Drew
You don't even need a clue
Babies they go number 2
And I promise that nobody's
Gonna stuff you with cheese
Girl, my thighs end at my feet
That's because I have no knees
Strike the band up 7, 8, 9

I promise that I promise that
I promise that I promise
Yes there ia "B" in "booty"
After that you say "ooty"
And you can't spell "Danny's a fuckboy"
Without "NY"
I pee on bathroom floors
While shouting "fuck the police"