Do a Show, Save a Child
Raise a Million Bucks That'll Last a While
Fight At Parties Buy a Horse
Lose a Couple Win That Big Divorce

I Wanna Be in the Headlines
Anything to Be in the Headlines

Saw My Chance, Took My Break
Took the Biggest Float in the Rose Parade
Got Jailed, Got Disgraced
A Hundred Million People Saw My Face

Call a Conference With the Press
Announce My Marriage Plans in a Wedding Dress
Climb a Building At Six-below
On New Years Eve Without a Stitch of Clothes

As Long As They Spell My Name Right
I Hope They Catch My Best Side

I Popped Out From a Cake
At the President's Ball What a Big Mistake
Fifty Guns Aimed At Me
I Was Nearly Killed But What Publicity
Nominated, Something Big
Stole the Hottest Scene Says the Globe and Tribe
Porno Movie Comes to Light
But I Was Starving Then So That's All Right

As Long As They Spell My Name Right
I Hope They Catch My Best Side
Keep My Sidewalk Star Status Bright
(Feel Free to Walk On Me Tonight)
Just Don't Spit On Me