Raise your hand if you wish I was dead!
'cause what folks really mean is mostly left unsaid
Raise your hand, come on
Raise, raise, raise your hand
Raise your hand if you all want me dead

What will be said, what will be said as soon I am dead?
Will no one give a shit, will no one give a shit, or will the whole town go mad?
Will they dance on the tables like it's the best day they ever had?
Or will they say "he was a nice guy, just got in over his head"

Welcome to my funeral
Good to see you all
Welcome to my funeral

Raise your hand if you wish I was dead!
'cause what folks really mean is mostly left unsaid
Raise your hand, come on
Raise, raise, raise your hand
Raise your hand if you all want me dead

What will be said, what will be said as soon as I am dead?
Will they chop me into parts, feed me to the pigs and be very very glad?
Will they dance on my gravestone like it's the best day they ever had
Will they cry but spell my name wrong in my obituary, hey!

What will be said, what will be said as soon as I am dead?
Will they call ABC, will they call CNN or the president out of bed?
Will they piss on my grave and tell the world I was a knucklehead?
Will my ghost be on the radio, singing all my great songs instead?

Bye and thank you all
For the flowers and the calls
For being at my funeral
Bye, bye you all, hope you had some fun, some fun at my funeral
Bye, bye you all, on this rainy day in fall, bye bye you all…