Dear Uncle Creepy, it's been years
Morbid fantasy exterminates my childhood fears
Dear Uncle Creepy, how can it be?
Some of the crap that's out these days
is such a bore to me

Dear Uncle Creepy...

The shit they call "horror" in the comic store
Nobody's got that style anymore!
Pre-code classics provide the chills
This high-tech bullshit never will!
As far as movies are concerned,
There's a plenty out that should be burned
The horror's gone, big budget's here
Whatever happened to the meaning of FEAR????

Dear Uncle Creepy, it's a crying shame
The "terror" of the 90's is so fucking LAME!!
Whatever happened to the good ol' days
Has you and Cousin Eerie turning in your graves!