Ooh, you wanna have a fantasy tonight, call 1-800-555-DiC-2

Today on DiCaprio's World Discoveries, I'm here backstage at a hip-hop concert
I just spotted a gaggle of rappers. I see loads and loads of cash in their bags
I see guns with extended clips that don't even fit the guns in their trousers
So what he's trying to say
I'm so tough, don't mess with me, I'm the baddest bloke on the block

Susan, I've found another lover
Well so have I, Demetrius, it's over

Breaking news on DiCaprio 2, channel two, at two. Take it, John
I'm on DiCaprio Lane, Jason, in the Mirrorland casino
Where there seem to be two niggas about to jump ready to die, I'm here on the scene with a witness
Them two niggas mad
Oh, yeah?
That shit was the first black president
Is that right?
Barack Obama was number two
Interesting
Alive, I said CDC (do it! Don't do it!, He's doin' it, dude!)
Oh, shit, there they go