I tried to join the X-Men
But I think they're maybe racist
Just because I'm human they don't want my help
It seems it doesn't really matter
If your super power's firing tuna melts

I tried to the join the Justice League
But Batman was a douche to me
And Black Canary wouldn't tell me hi
And Plastic Man changed to a middle finger
That was thirty stories high

I got a message from the Great Lakes Avengers
They offered me a membership but I did not accept
Cuz they're a walking disaster
Like a narwhal with a fireball
They just don't make sense at all
They're the worst heroes of all time
To call themselves Avengers is a crime
Marcel Marceau was Europe's favorite mime
So I guess I'll look around

I tried to join Green Lantern Corps
Those Guardians were such a bore
They said no way but I wasn't surprised
That's okay those uniforms were so tight
That I feared they'd chafe my thighs

I tried to join Fantastic Four
I didn't even reach the door
Who thought that H.E.R.B.I.E.'s such a serious guy?
The reason I was told I could not join
Was their car could not seat five

I got a message from the Great Lakes Avengers
They offered me a membership but I did not accept
Cuz they're a walking disaster
Like a narwhal with a fireball
They just don't make sense at all
They're the worst heroes of all time
To call themselves Avengers is a crime
Marcel Marceau was Europe's favorite mime
So I guess I'll look around

But yeah they just kept calling me and hounding me
They said I'd fit their line-up to a tee
And as my options they were dwindling down
I kept holding out for something better I thought
Was in store for me, in store for me, in store for me

Doom Patrol ((no way)), Cyberforce ((no way))
Alpha Flight ((no way)), also you are not Canadian
Power Pack ((too old)), JSA ((too young))
Birds of Prey ((you're a dude))

So I guess I'll join the Great Lakes Avengers
They offered me a membership and so I did accept
Though they're a walking disaster
I find their heart of gold is something that cannot be sold
Cuz they're the worst heroes of all time
It's remarkable they ever stop a crime
Sitting poolside with free beer and lime
So I guess I'll stick around
So I guess I'll stick around
So I guess I'll stick around
Yeah I guess I'll stick around