I forgot my stupid wallet in my car
And we have walked like seven miles away
From where we parked the car cause we wanted food
But we were too high to drive
It was a lot farther than I realized

I am just a crooked joke with a stale punchline
That some old friends quote
The neighbor that you try to ignore
But you wave to so you won't look like an asshole
So, I wrote you a new song and it goes like this

I cannot walk all the way back to where we parked
I will not walk all the way back to where we parked

So, I'll be on the centrefold as the poster child
Of all the biggest tools with a caption about being broke
And disappointing everyone I know
'Cause I'm too resigned
All my friends think I'm a douche now
And they're probably right
But this is the life, tito says inside your pool
With his arms stretched out across the side

I am just a crooked joke with a stale punchline
That some old friends quote
The neighbor that you try to ignore
But you have to wave because I'm waving from my porch