Hey, another date
Another shot to shut my mouth
But guess what?

Showed up fresh, cologne in excess
Popcorn for two, tried to impress
She smiled and said: You're kind of unique
I thought: This is it
Then my brain hit peak

Started off chill, talked shows and meals
Five minutes in, I was spilling all my feels
It could've gone right, I had a chance
If it weren't for the fact that

I talked too much
Told her 'bout my dog, told her 'bout my fear
Said I dream a lot cause I sleep too clear
Told her olives mess me up inside
And yeah, I throw salt on snails with pride

Got a second date, swore I'd do better
Wrote a full script, rehearsed every letter
But she just asked: So how was your day?
And I replied with an essay straight away

Talked 'bout my boss, the housing bubble
My parents' fights, the global struggle
It could've gone right, I had a shot
If it weren't for the fact that

I talked too much
Brought up time theory, my wisdom teeth pain
Said the rug looked odd, didn't match the frame
Said I hate horoscopes, love the red Power Ranger
But still, I came off even stranger

For real
Somebody mute me
Cause once again
I blew it

Third time's the charm? Man, that's what I thought
Took her out for coffee, not a single shot
Sat down calm, with a smile polite
But the devil on my tongue said: Talk all night

Told her 'bout my lunch, the weird guy in line
How I memorize license plates to pass the time
And this time it was supposed to work out
If it weren't for the fact that

I talked too much
About my ex, my next, my made-up fling
Showed her my throwbacks every Thursday spring
Spoke of my debts, even gave my ID
And how I plan to retire at fifty

I talked too much
I talked too much
Talked too much