Here comes Alastor
A show you've died for
Hear the static on the air
Starring your despair

[Alastor]
Why should I introduce myself?
My name is Alastor! And I'm back in Hell!
Better late than never! Your presenter's here!
That unmistakable voice you hear? Guess, me!
I need a stage! Oh, here it comes!
This is the Hazbin Hotel helping the poor fallen ones
That just wanna redemption, but fell for temptation
They're thirsty for a lascivious defamation

I've never been so inspired
I know that I was far
But this should be interesting
A deal would be arresting

Who's Alastor?
(The real radio demon)
Who's Alastor?
(That smiling guy you see)
Who's Alastor?
(An insatiable killer)
Oh, Who's Alastor?
(The elegance of the scene)
Who's Alastor?
(The master!)
Who's Alastor?
(The sugar on the cream)
Who's Alastor?
(Spectacular!)
Who's Alastor?
(Treat demons as playthings)

Salutations, my friend, we're back in the air
Streaming every beauty scream, a delightful scare
Just tune on in, the amusement's paragon
The powerful overlord? (Alastor, the number one!)
Charlie, don't worry, this is just the spark
My friends in Cannibal Town are ready to attack
A tapestry filled with delectable blood
Wouldn't it be so funny if the end was a dud?

Here comes Alastor!

[Vox]
This is my opening theme, you idiot bastard!
(Here comes Alastor!)

[Alastor]
Finders keepers losers weepers
(Here comes Alastor!)

[Vox]
You're such a loser and I'll make you suffer!
(Here comes Alastor!)

[Alastor]
Oh, poor Vox, now turn the radio on!

(Here comes Alastor)
I'm the greatest you've ever seen!
(Here comes Alastor)
I can burn your soul with sweetness gasoline
(Here comes Alastor)
I'm the true terror, face-to-face
(Here comes Alastor)
Wear that smile, honey, don't be afraid

(Here comes Alastor, here comes Alastor)
(Here comes Alastor, here comes Alastor)

Oh! Now that was entertainment!
Here ends our little broadcast!
But we'll be right back!
So stay tuned!