D                A7              D
My father came here from his home in Ireland,
       G               D                A7
He was quiet but they said that he was wise.
       D                D7              G                E
He and Mother did their best, gave us a home and all the rest,
                     E7             A7
But to talk to us he never had the time.
           D             A7                 D
Sure, he'd say "Pass the butter." or, "Come here young man."
          G                   D            A7
Or, "Keep quiet." or, "No you can't have a dime."
          D              D7               G               E
Until the day when I was leavin' when Dad finally found a reason
                E7            A7
For sharing his philosophy of life...

         D                     A7           D
He said: "A monkey fart should smell like a banana,
G                    D                  A7
English farts should smell like cups of tea;
    D            D7             G               E
The farting of a fairy should be very light and airy,
                      E7                   A7
When a father farts I hope you'll think of me.
   D                  A7               D
An Irish fart should always lilt with laughter,
          G                   D                   A7
It should melt your heart and melt your shorts as well,
         D                     D7             G               
  E
A lion's fart should roar with power, cuckoos should fart every hour,
                         E7             A7
A nun's fart should have meaning but no smell;
  D                        A7               D
A strong man's fart should sound out like a trumpet,
  G                    D            A7
A pretty girl's should barely even squeak,
       D               D7           G                E
But the person you can trust is the one who'd rather bust
     E7                            A7
Than ever let one rip right on the street..."


           D               A7            D
Well, from my old man this really was an earful,
  G             D                  A7
I tried to understand just what he meant;
               D             D7          G                 E
His words were primitive but strong so I wouldn't get them wrong,
                    E7           A7
He was saying to be careful as I went.
       D            A7         D
He was saying to be happy as I could be,
       G               D             A7
He was saying watch my step and as I pass,
     D               D7            G            E
To beware who I look up to, and whatever else I might do,
          E7 (Hold)                                        A7
Know that most of what you get from folks is just escaping gas...


            D                  A7           D
He said: "A monkey fart should smell like a banana,
G                    D                  A7
English farts should smell like cups of tea;
    D            D7              G              E
The farting of a fairy should be very light and airy,
                      E7                   A7
When a father farts I hope you'll think of me.
   D                  A7              D
An Irish fart should always lilt with laughter,
          G                   D                   A7
It should melt your heart and melt your shorts as well,
        D                      D7             G               
  E
A lion's fart should roar with power, cuckoos should fart every hour,
                         E7              A7
A nun's fart should have meaning but no smell;
   D                       A7               D
A strong man's fart should sound out like a trumpet,
  G                    D           A7
A pretty girl's should barely even squeak,
        D              D7            G               E
But the person you can trust is the one who'd rather bust
     E7           A7               D
Than ever let one rip right on the street..."