There's nobody less rock 'n' roll than me
I can't get drunk, I can't do drugs
I've got no street credibility
I'm a telly tubby, a tubby teddy
When my centre spread is loved and fed
I'm comletely happy

Call the police, I feel I've been fleeced
I can't get liad, I can't do raves
I'm all respectability
I'm a trifle pathetic and I'm not very brave
For the sake of health, I shit myself
and run the other way

But there's a place where I can go
To get off my face when I feel low
A hell shaped room without a view
Whefre I can be when I'm with you
There's a place thats in my bed
Its in my heart and in my head
Theres a way for me to go
When I'm feeling rock 'n' roll.......rock and roll