I've often wondered what it was like to be married
I've often wondered why for so long I have tarried
But I was wed this mornin'
And now I am a missus
So without much warning
I'll know what married bliss is

Mr. Jones are you comin' to bed
Mr. Jones are you comin' to bed
You've been awful rough
And you've done your stuff
Oh it's just as well we're wed
Mr. Jones are you comin' to bed

Mr. Jones, can you really be mine
Mr. Jones, oh you're lookin' devine
You've been on the loose
And you've cooked your goose
So it's just as well we're wed
Mr. Jones are you comin' to bed

Now's your chance,
Here comes romance
I can't bear you out of my sight
So don't blow out that light

Oh Mr. Jones, you're so hard to resist
Mr. Jones, if I've gotta be kissed
It's a darn good thing
That you bought that ring
And it's just as well were wed
Mr. Jones are you comin' to bed

Mr. Jones, won't you get out of bed
Mr. Jones, won't you get out of bed
Here's your morning tea
And it's half past three
That's the worst of bein' wed
Mr. Jones, won't you get out of bed

Mr. Jones, I don't want to be rude
Mr. Jones, don't you want any food
Just a steak and chips
Gee, it's half past six
That's the worst of bein' wed
Mr. Jones, won't you get out of bed

You've had a snooze
You've read the news
I can't think what mother would say
You've wasted all the day

Oh Mr. Jones, now it's terribly late
Mr. Jones, it's a quarter to eight
Better say goodnight
And blow out that light
And get straight back to bed
Mr. Jones are you comin' to bed