The die is cast
Ehe elder tries to entice
The sister of the
Rider of Skimmelperdpan
His brain jars loose
A man stays a man
He grabs him by the throat
To refresh his memory

It's really not a secret any more
I really don't play this game any more
Few things piss me off like this
I'll beat you black and blue
'Cause I drink like a fish

The elder gets the fright of his life
It was so intense he shat in his pants

He says "Brother why all the noise?
I'm just doing my job
She's making eyes at me"
Your attitude is politically incorrect
If the government catch you
They'll shoot you
'Cause we're all on the same side
The parish, the police, and the local newspaper

Take that you scoundrel

Her name is Dolores
With a body like a brontosaurus
Quietly she develops a Prozac problem
That estranges her from her knobbly brain
She's a silent sufferer
And she'll always refuse
Now she whines all day in front of the TV

On the couch of the rider of Skimmelperdpan
'Cause an overdose soaps equals fun

Take that you scoundrel

The guy keeps farting around
The rider looses his temper
"Beware, you fucker
I'll wipe the floor with you
I saw the way you were peeping at Dolores
Your eyes were glued to her body
You were sucking so hard on your smoke
That your head was in danger of exploding
I'm tired of your stories and your bitching

I'll blow you to bits with my grandad's front-loader
Because I'm more pissed off than Mrs. Rottemaaier
My species is the most dangerous on the planet
The rest of the world's trying to forget about us
It's carved in my psyche like marble panels
Born extremely angry and I'll die that way"

And he beats him to pulp
And chucks him into a ditch
And sells the story to Huisgenoot