The doctor told my Uncle John
To quit eatin' dog food or he wouldn't live long
But he kept on eatin' dog food from the can
The doctor was right because one day
Uncle John was scratchin' fleas out in the driveway
And he got run over by the milkman do do do do

There's a bunch of a nuts growin' on our family tree dee ta dee dee
Everybody in the family's nuts but me o o o ta do do

My brother's dumb but he thinks he's groovy
He took a girl to the to a drive-in movie
And they were sittin' there waitin' for the picture show to start dar dart
They sat there from eight to ten then she said excuse me Clem
But what are we doin' here in this used car lot mmm hum mm

There's a bunch of nuts growin' on our family tree...

I got a cousin we call im Ox put a lantern on top of a box
And I ask him what was the purpose of the lantern dad burn
He said so folks can see the box I said what's the purpose of the box Ox
He said I gotta have some place to put the lantern mmm hum mmm

There's a bunch of nuts a growin' on our family tree...

Then there was my Uncle Jay he worked as a waiter in a small cafe
And some folks came in from high society ta dee dee
This one fat lady that was with the group said what's that fly doin' in my soup
He said looks like the backstroke to me mm hum mmm

There's a bunch of nuts a growin' on our family tree...

Well I gotta go to work now I'm parttime brain surgeon you know
I always did want to be a big operator
Adios there friends hi there you in the white suit