Mrs. Wilkinson

Try to keep your arm in line
Come on at least pretend you're doing fine
You can wow 'em every time
All you have to do in shine
Forget about content
Focus on style
Steal an inch on them
And they'll give you a mile
And smile, smile, smile, smile

It doesn't matter if you're large or small
Trapezeoid, or short or tall
Even if you can't dance stall
All you really have to do is shine

It doesn't matter if your life's a mess
The whole process will coalesce
Girls, just try to effervesce
All you really have to do is shine

Give 'em the old razzle dazzle
Turn on the old pizzazz
There won't be time to shilly shally
Give it backbone, give it welly
Bowl 'em over, knock 'em out
Show 'em what life is all about
Give them the old razzle dazzle
And shine

It doesn't matter if you're unemployed
Only partially humanoid
An octopoid whose mind's a void
All you really have to do is shine

It doesn't matter if you're special needs
Maimed or lame, or born in Leeds
They love to see a heart that bleeds
All you really have to do is shine

Give 'em the old razzle dazzle
Turn on the old pizzazz
There won't be time to shilly shally
Give it backbone, give it welly
Bowl them over, knock 'em out
Show them what life's all about
Give them the old razzle dazzle
And shine!

You might be feeling lousy
You might be feeling blue
A little apprehensive
A minor touch of flu
They couldn't give a monkey's cuss
They couldn't give a fig
Come on son get over it
It's all part of the gig
Give 'em the old rinkle tinkle
Give 'em the old kabam
Knock 'em sideways blow their minds out
There's no time for half time frolics
Grab the buggers by the bollocks
Show 'em what class is all about
Give 'em that old razzle dazzle
And shine

Lights!

Doesn't matter if you're short or squat
Cerebrally challenged, completely shot
You might have it or might not
All you really have to do is
All you really have to do is shine
Give 'em that old razzle dazzle and shine
Give 'em that old razzle dazzle and shine
And shine
And shine