G  C  D  G

[Verse]
      G                  C
I was waitin' in Rosie's Restaurant
         D                       G
When the waiter came up and said what do you want
                            C
I looked at the menu and it looked so nice
        D                          G
Till he said lemme give you some advice.

[Verse]
           G                       C
He said spaghetti and potatoes got too much starch
D                          G
Pork chops and sausage are bad for your heart
                                C
There's hormones in chicken and beef and veal
D
Bowl of ravioli is a dead man's meal.

[Verse]
G                                 C
Bread's got preservatives there's nitrites in ham
D                      G
Artificial coloring in jellies and jam
                      C
Stay away from donuts run away from pie
D                    G
Pepperoni pizza is a sure way to die.

[Verse]
                                    C
Sugar rots your teeth and makes you put on weight
    D                          G
But artificial sweetener's got cyclamates
                              C
Eggs got cholesterol, there's fat in cheese
D                             G
Coffee ruins your kidneys and so does tea.

[Verse]
G                 C
Fish got mercury, red meat is poison
D                      G
Salt's gonna send your blood pressure risin'
                         C
Hot dogs and bologna got deadly red dyes
D
Vegetables and fruits are sprayed with pesticides.

[Break]
G  C  D  G    G  C  D

[Verse]
               G                      C
So I said what can I eat that's gonna make me last
          D                         G
He said a small drink of water in a sterilized glass
                           C
And then he stopped and he thought for a minute
         D                             G
And said never mind the water, there's carcinogenics in it.

[Verse]
     G                                C
So I got up from the table and walked out in the street
D                   G
Realizin' there was nothin' I could eat
                                  C
I ain't eaten for a month and I'm feeling fine
       D                                                            G
'Cause he did not mention beer, whiskey, women and sweet red wine...