G                                                       C 
The old man was covered with tattoos and scars, he got some in prison and others in bars
    D                                           G    
The rest he got workin' on old junk cars in the daytime
     G 
They looked like tombstones in our yard
      C                      D                G   
And I never seen him when he wasn't tired and mean

[Verse 2]
   G                                  C 
He sold used parts to make ends meet, covered with grease from his head to his feet
D                                     G 
Cussin' the sweat and the Texas heat, and the skeeters
        G  
And the neighbors said we lived like hicks,
         C                    D         G   
But they brung their cars for Pa to fix anyhow.

[Verse 3]
       G                                   C 
He was vet'ran proud, tried and true, he'd fight till his heart was black and blue,
D                                         G  
Didn't know how he'd made it through, the hard times
G 
He'd bought our house on the G.I. Bill,
       C                   D              G 
But it wasn't worth all he had to kill to get it

[Verse 4]
         G                                      C 
He drank pearl in a can and Jack Daniels black, chewed tobacco from a mail-pouch sack,
D                                          G    
Had an old dog that was trained to attack, sometimes
G 
He'd get drunk and mean as a rattlesnake,
          C                    D                     G  
And there wasn't too much that he would take, from a stranger

[Bridge]
          C             D              G                            C 
There was 13 kids and a bunch of dogs, house full of chickens and a yard full of hogs,
D                    C                       G   
Spent the summertime cuttin' up logs for the winter
C                        D                  G                            C 
Tryin' like the devil to find the lord, and workin' like a dog for my room and board,
D                                                                               G  
Coal burnin' stove, no natural gas, and if that ain't country, I'll kiss your ass.

[Chorus]
G             C       D                   G    
If that ain't country, it'll hairlip the pope,
G             C       D                 G   
If that ain't country, it's a damn good joke
              C         D        G            C  
I've seen the Grand Ole Opry and I met Johnny Cash,
                  D                       G 
And if that ain't country, I'll kiss your ass.

[Instrumental Break]

G  C  D  G

[Verse 5]
G                                    C 
Momma sells eggs at a grocery store, my oldest sister is a first-rate whore,
D                                            G 
Dad says she can't come home anymore, and he means it
G 
Ma just sits and keeps her silence
C                      D                       G 
Sister she left 'cause Dad got violent, and he knows it

[Verse 6]
G                                          C   
Momma she's old, far beyond her time, from choppin' tobacco and I seen her cryin'
     D                                             G   
When blood started flowin' from her calloused hand, and it hurt me
G 
But she'd just keep workin', tryin' to help the old man,
         C                  D                G  
From the end of one row and back again, like always

[Verse 7]
G                                                         C 
She's been through hell since Junior went to jail, and when the lights go out she ain't never failed,
   D                                          G   
To get down on her knees and pray, 'cause she loves him
G 
Told all the neighbors he was off in the war,
C                          D                           G  
Fightin' for freedom, he's good to the core, and she's proud

[Verse 8]
G                                                 C  
Our place was a graveyard for automobiles, at the end of the porch there was 4 stacks of wheels,
    D                                   G 
And tires for sale for a dollar or two, cash
  
[Bridge]
          C              D 
There was 50 holes in an old tin roof
G                    C  
Me and my family was livin' proof,
   D 
Of people who forgot about poor white trash
                                         G 
And if that ain't country I'll kiss your ass

[Chorus]
G             C       D                   G    
If that ain't country, it'll hairlip the pope,
G             C       D                 G   
If that ain't country, it's a damn good joke
              C         D        G            C  
I've seen the Grand Ole Opry and I met Johnny Cash,
                  D                       G 
And if that ain't country, I'll kiss your ass.

[Outro]
G                         C
I'm thinking tonight of my blue eyes
    D                         G  
Concerning the great speckled bird
         G                       C 
I didn't know god made honky-tonk angels
          D                        G
And went back to the wild side of life