F
Whoa, Whoa, Whoa

[Verse 1]
F            C   F 
It's a Broad Lic Nic
         Bb                 F
And I'll tell you while I'm able
Bb                 F
Or I'll smash your skull
                    Gm           C 
If you'll not drink enough Black Label
F           C     F
It's a hard man's drink
    Bb                  F
And though the bottle's broken
         Bb           F
Put your money on the table
           C                  F
Strain the glass through your teeth
F
So, we grew up lean, mean
Bb                  F
Kings of the street scene
Bb                 F
Without a mother's guiding hand
   Gm      C   
To keep us clean
F
Down your rum
      Bb              F 
We'll take life as it comes
            Bb         F  
And all you blue rinse critics
         C        F  
Lick our literary bum

[Verse 2]
           Dm  
I drank my first pure malt
Gm
Before I was three
                         Dm
I smoked a pack of Dutch cigarettes
   C
My pappy left for me
F
And I romanced a little lass
        Bb          F
Who was 12 years my elder
       Bb           F
At the age of six I held her
     Bb          F   
That year I also bed her
     Bb         F 
So before I was seven
   C               F
My first child was born

[Verse 3]
  Dm 
I told a pack of filthy lies
         Gm
As a politician
Gm                Dm
I heard my own confession as an
C
Act of contrition
        Dm
I spent ten years as a Trappist monk
     Gm           Dm
In a village in Tibet (Liar!)
      Bb                F 
And I walked up Everest naked
C             F
Just to win a bet

[Interlude]
F
Whoa, Whoa

[Verse 4]
F
Well, I severed my leg to win a
Bb          F
One-legged race
Bb               F
And when I won I stitched it
Gm              C 
Right back into place
F
I fought Mohammed Ali
       Bb         F 
I've seduced Mata Hari
     Bb          F
I've even worn a sari
         Gm         C 
When I impersonated Gandhi
      F    C       F  
And I dare any man here
   Bb         F
To call me a liar
      Bb               F 
But I swear I've seen Ezekiel
  Bb                 F
I swear I've seen Isaiah
Bb            F            Gm        C
Toasting marshmallows in Beelzebub's fire

[Verse 5]
F
And we're mad (Mad!) Bad (Bad!)
Bb           F
Dangerous to know
   Bb           F 
We never gave a tinker's cuss
 Gm                  C 
About the seeds we'd sow
       F 
And we stay up late
    Bb          F 
And never be forlorn (Hey!)
    Bb               F
And when the morning comes around
      Gm                F
We'll kiss the crack of dawn

[Bridge]
   Dm
We took the wax from Kerouacs
    Gm         Dm  
And dusty Dostoevskys
         Gm               Dm 
And when all was said and done
          C
Booze was all I had left me
     Dm
For, all the world's great thinkers
    Gm
Are all a load
   Dm
Of pus

[Verse 6]
           Bb            F
And if you asked how Zarathustra spoke
F
He spake thus:
F
Drink! Drink! Drink!
Bb                 F   
Drink until you're drunk
Bb              F
Drink until you can't stand up
            Gm        C
Till you're roly-poly stung
          F
Till your bladder bursts
         Bb             F
Till you throw a fit to curse
          Bb                F  
Till they lift you up still comatose
    C               F
And slam you in the hearse

[Interlude]
F
Whoa, whoa, Whoa,Whoa

[Outro]
F
And we're good (Good!) Bad (Bad!)
Bb      F
Ugly as sin
   Bb             F
We mixed up cough syrup
G        C
With our gin
F
So take your medicine
  Bb               F 
I pray that when I die (Hey!)
            Bb           F                 C        F
There'll be someone else around to kiss my arse goodbye
F           C
Yes I pray, I pray
  F                C
I pray that when I die
            F             Bb               F       C      F
There'll be someone else around to kiss my arse goodbye