G           C
I'm wet and I'm moist
   Bm            Em
So c'mon let's rejoice
       C                                    D
In the birds, the bees, the fillies and the colts
        Am               D          G
And the fact that we are all young adults
   G                C
So lie back on your couch
      Bm                   Em
After this, there'll be no doubt
        C                           D
I don't care if you're a miss, or a missus
                 Am            D            G
You've just been kissed by the world's best kisser

[Chorus]
   C   D                   G
Ho ho! Sit up straight and pout
               C            D         G
I'll suck your face until I pull your molars out
            C             D                 G
A tongue so grand, you'll call me more than friend
    C                            D                 G
One kiss from this, you'll never brush your teeth again

[Verse 2]
   G            C
Go back to your husband now
Bm                Em
Tell him you done broke your vows
C                        D
Stand proud and say, Hey mister
               Am            D            G
I've just been kissed by the world's best kisser

[Chorus]
   C   D                   G
Ho ho! Sit up straight and pout
               C            D         G
I'll suck your face until I pull your wisdoms out
            C        D               G
A tongue so long it really grows and grows
               C            D              G
Put it in your mouth, it'll clean out your nose

[Verse 3]
     G               C
I've only kissed one girl before
    Bm             Em
My grandma, on the kitchen floor
    C                              D
She dribbled and grinned and said, Hey kid
       Am                    D             G
You've taught me things your Grandpa never did
    G                 C
She added there'll be hell to pay
   Bm              Em
If Ma found out we went astray
   C                       D
So hurry, boy, go get some sleep
       Am            D                  G
You've finally got a skill to teach the sheep

[Chorus]
   C   D                    G
Ho ho! Calm down and pucker up
      C                 D              G
These lips are strong enough to stop a truck
            C       D              G
A tongue so long it really packs a punch
              C        D                          G
One kiss from this and I'll know what you had for lunch
              C        D                          G
One kiss from this and I'll know what you had for lunch