I won a big prize in a magazine
A night in Ramsay Street with what's-his-name and Charlene
I sat there eagerly with my private invitation
My thoughts were filled with bizarre initiations
This couple oh-so-sweet, naive and innocent
Their ideas of fornication makes Lady Di look bent

Thought they'd be hip to smack, maybe enjoy a whack
But they were real nice kids so I tried a different tack
I pumped up their hearts with love and mind expanding drugs
And made a proposition with a rubber glove
I thought they'd need convincing
Then Kylie started mincing
And Jason was expanding
When I said I'd ride 'em tandem.

Jason and Kylie menage a trois me
Let's get together and we'll practice making babies
Jason can play Ken, Kylie plays Barbie
And when I start playing Rin Tin Tin
They'll both learn how to doggie. (Ruff ruff ruff! )
And they called it puppy love

I'll be Mrs Mangle with a revolutionary French blender
Kylie can be the Bastille and then Jason can defend her
And poor old Daphne in a car crash died
Now maggots eat her corpse from the inside
They're just as good in bed as on the TV screen
Young intellectuals will know what I mean

Kylie and Jason, let's play Freemasons
I'll chase you 'round the house while you wear silly aprons
I'll be the wife who doesn't understand
It's not the clothes that make the man it's the handshake
1-2, 1-2-3, 1-2-3-4, hey, hey!
Jason and Kylie, et tu brute
They're just like free range eggs, they're a damn good lay
We made real fine threesome, each one of us inside us
And when you root like that, nothing can divide us!
1-2, 1-2-3, Jason and Kylie for me!