Why'd you get that ticket if you're only gonna talk
I came to catch a film and there's nothing being caught
And more to the point fella this is just a thought
Why you eatin popcorn when they've covered it in salt

I came to watch a film and eat popcorn
You came here to just talk
If this carries on we'll lock horns
Like they do in the movies son

My right hand popcorn, sweet never salted
Left hand holding the girl I'm escorting
Films already started so we're quiet as we walk in
As I take a seat there's already people talking
Dunno what it is but if its adults or its kids
In the cinema, people are chattin like they in a bar
What is this a seminar on chatting inane?
Look, Im tryna watch this dude jumpin out of a plane
The kiddies in the front row (chitter chatter chitter chatter)
The Lovers in the back row (kiss kiss kiss)
The dude kickin my chair like (tap tap tap tap)
This gang of idiots take the (piss piss piss)
A couple of explosions it's quiet for a moment
I'm ready to explode myself losing composure
(Chitter chatter chitter) Right you're tickin me off
Shut the fuck up, watch the film or we're kickin off

I came to watch a film and eat popcorn
You came here to just talk
If this carries on we'll lock horns
Like they do in the movies son
I came to watch a film and eat popcorn
You came here to just talk
If this carries on we'll lock horns
Like they do in the movies son

Now I got my girlfriend she givin me some earache
"As if you'd do that in real life on a first date"
I made a rule to steer clear of aggression sessions
Whether it's a romcom, a thriller or a western
Now for the whole film she can only ask 3 questions
Once she done that she gotta button it
Hush her lip and no love I aint getting couple-y
Devoted to you utterly but not when watchin films
My girlie in my left ear (who's that in the red hat?)
The fatty to my right like (munch crunch munch crunch)
Here she goes again like (I thought he was dead)
Look, No love he's isn't, see he only got a punch
10 minutes of silence, things are looking better
But whenever there's never a sound
Waiting for an over clever noise from whoever's around
Sitting on the edge of my seat,
and it aint cos of the film it's these idiots

I came to watch a film and eat popcorn
You came here to just talk
If this carries on we'll lock horns
Like they do in the movies son
I came to watch a film and eat popcorn
You came here to just talk
If this carries on we'll lock horns
Like they do in the movies son

Right you, you fuckin chatty face you're startin to rub
Me up the wrong way - fuck off down the pub
It's bad enough my woman chattin crap in my earhole
Without you talking out loud like a hero,
Trust me son you're nothing like a Robert De Niro
Character, have a chair or I'm a go all cavalier
And start getting more than medieval on your arse
Your visits to the cinema this'll be the last
The kiddies in the front row (Shut your flippin face mate)
The lovers in the back row (why you gotta talk)
The dude tappin my chair like (keep it down please yeah)
My girlie in my ear like (But he was in New York)
Look, I only wanna hear what this dude is tryna say to me
And now I got the whole damn room layin in to me
Security appear and flash their torches down my row
Er, Sir can you leave please you're spoiling the show

I came to watch a film and eat popcorn
You came here to just talk
If this carries on we'll lock horns
Like they do in the movies son
I came to watch a film and eat popcorn
You came here to just talk
If this carries on we'll lock horns
Like they do in the movies son