Roquefort and grueyere and slippery Brie
All of these cheeses they happen to me
Oh please

Rough pecorino and moody Rams Hall
Stop me before I just swallow it all
Oh please

Somebody ring the cheese alarm
Oh please
Somebody ring the cheese alarm

Goats' cheese cylinder, tangy and white
Roll over me in the flickering night
Oh please

Chaume and Jarlsberg, applewood smoked
"The pleasure is mine," he obligingly joked
Oh please

Somebody ring the cheese alarm
Oh please
Somebody ring the cheese alarm

Hey now, Fletcher, don't keep me up late
I can't even fit into size thirty-eights
Oh please

Juddering Stilton with your blue-blooded veins
You can't build a palace without any drains
Oh please
Oh please
Oh please

Half the world starving and half the world bloats
Half the world sits on the other and gloats
Oh please

Truckle of cheddar in a muslin rind
Would you give it all up for some real peace of mind?
Oh no