I'm the duke of nothing
I'm the sultan of sans
The king of diddly
I'm the shell of a man

I'm the emperor of zip
The leader of nought
I'm the God of zilch
A vacuum of thought

Yeah!

Here lies
Here lies

The Jack of fuck all
The master of none
The champion of nada
A neglectable sum

I'm yesterday's news
Tomorrow’s chip paper
I'm in between jobs
And I will be later

Yeah!

Here lies
Here lies

A drop in the ocean
A shadow in the night
A wheel with no motion
A dog with no (bark!) bite

The deputy managers assistant
Assistant, assistant, assistant, assistant
Assistant, assistant, assistant, assistant

Don't like, don't listen
Yeah!

Here lies
Here lies
Here lies
Here lies