B                           F#
It's Christmas Eve and I’ve only wrapped two fucking presents
          B                           F#
Christmas Eve and I've only wrapped two fucking presents
       G#m                           E
And I hate, hate, hate your guts, I hate, hate, hate your guts
    B           F#           E
And I'll never talk to you again


[Chorus]
             E
Unless your dad will suck me off
B           F#           E
I’ll never talk to you again
             E
Unless your mom will touch my cock
B              F#           E
I'll never talk to you again
      E
Ejaculate into a sock
B           F#           E
I'll never talk to you again
            F#
I'll never talk to you again


[Verse 2]
            B                           F#
It's Labor Day and my grandpa just ate seven fucking hot dogs
       B                           F#
Labor Day and my grandpa just ate seven fucking hot dogs
         G#m                            E
And he shit, shit, shit his pants, he's always fucking shitting his pants
    B           F#           E
And I'll never talk to you again


[Chorus]
             E
Unless your dad will suck me off
B           F#           E
I’ll never talk to you again
             E
Unless your mom will touch my cock
B              F#           E
I'll never talk to you again
      E
Ejaculate into a sock
B           F#           E
I'll never talk to you again
            F#           B
I'll never talk to you again