F6
If you put a gun to my head
                   E
And make me pick a celebrity
            Dm
Please hear me when I sing
Dm
I know it's a horrible thing
           C       C7
To wish on anybody
         F
But if I had to pick one
             E
Out of every celebrity
             D
Well, having paused and reflected
D
I'm sure you'd have selected
    Gm             C7
The same one as me


[Verse 2]
   F7
I remember what I thought of her this time last year
F7
And I feel that way still
      Bb
Don't tell me you had any sympathy for her
   Gm7             C7
Before she was ill.
       F6
With a hand on my heart
              E
It's a tragic thing to occur
       Dm
But if somebody's capers
Dm
Are removed from the papers
    C
I'm glad it was her

[Verse 3]
               F6
This time next month or next year
             E
I'll still recoil at her name
          Dm
The basic roll she fulfils
Dm
And her parenting skills
        Gm              C7
Will be mostly the same
F7
Mark my words, when she finally goes
F7
There'll be only words of praise
           Bb
She'll be "simple and brave" instead of stupid and racist
    Gm7          C7
For several days
Dm
I know it sounds cruel but I challenge
    F               Am
Any one of you to admit
          Gm                                         Bb
That when you heard the news, you didn't hold back a smile
     C             F
Even just a little bit