[Lick 1: from Em to Em again]
E|-------------------------------|
B|-------------------------------|
G|-------------------------------|
D|---0h2-------------------------|
A|-------2---0-------------------|
E|-------------3-2-0-------------|

[Lick 2: from B7 to Em]
E|-------------------------------|
B|-------------------------------|
G|-------------------------------|
D|-------------------------------|
A|---2p0------2----2---0---------|
E|-------2---------------3-2-0---|

[Lick 3: in the outro, not exactly how he plays it, just a suggestion]
E|-------------------------------|
B|-------------------------------|
G|-------0---0----------0---0----|
D|-------0h2-0--2-------0h2-0-2--|
A|--------------2-------------2--|
E|---0-0------------0-0----------|

[Chords]
C             -   x3201x
Cmaj7         -   x3200x
B             -   x2444x
D (in verses) -   xx0232
Em            -   022000
B7            -   x2120x
Em/D          -   xx0453
D (in outro)  -   x5403x


[Intro]
C               B               Em
Doo-doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo-doo
Em
(also, just to fuck with you, I've put it in 5/8 time; count along kids!)

[Verse 1]
Em                          C
Can I interest anyone in my sofa?
     D                                Em
It's cheap but it requires some extra care
Em                                Cmaj7    C
It gets rather sweaty between the cushions
B7  [Lick 2]                     Em     [Lick 1]
So be sure to keep it clean down there

[Verse 2]
Em                                        C
Sorry about the rash from where I've been sitting
        D                                Em
And the blisters from where I spilt bolognese
Em                                Cmaj7   C
By the way it's not normally this hairy
B7  [Lick 2]                       Em
I've not shaved it now for several days (it gets worse)

[Bridge 1]
C
And if you do decide to wax it please exfoliate to
G
Avoid ingrowing hair
C
And leave the curtains closed or it'll get a sunburn
B7  [Lick 2] x3
Peeling everywhere oooooh it's got a nipple

[Verse 3]
Em                                  C
It will keep you warm like no other sofa
    D                          Em/D Em
But it comes out in goosebumps when it's cold
Em                                      Cmaj7    C
All stains come right out with soap and water
B7  [Lick 2]                      Em
Not too bad for eighty nine years old

[Bridge 2]
C
And don't sit there for too long or you'll get a puddle
G
Underneath your thighs
  C
I hope somebody takes it I don't want to know what
B7  [Lick 2] x3
Happens when it dies

[Outro]
Em
Skin sofa, skin sofa
C           B7
eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh
Em  [Lick 3]
Skin sofa, skin sofa
C           D
eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh
Em  [Lick 3]
Skin sofa, skin sofa
C                          B7                Em
eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh (thank you very much)