Bb D G C F
[Verse 1]
Bb
I woke up, threw some sweat pants on
D G
Then I fed my cat and then I walked to the mini mart
C
And I really want a donut, shouldn't get a donut
F Bb
Bought a donut, fuck it man it's really hard
D
Supposed to be on a diet, I wanna be like Ryan
G
He lost thirty pounds on that paleo
C F
But fuck it man I love fried shit
Bb
I was gonna get skinny for the summer
D
I was gonna start doing my crunches
G
But looking down at my stomach
C F
I'mma go to the beach, but I'm not taking my shirt off in public
Bb
My girl shaped like a bottle of Coke
D
Me? I'm shaped like a bottle of nope
G
I'd like to order a hot dog, some bon bons
C F
A large soda, and some tacos to go
[Interlude]
Bb D
I never knew what a carbohydrate was
G C F Bb
Turns out that it's all the snacks I love
[Verse 2]
Bb D
I wanna be like Hugh Jackman, you know jacked man
With a really huge package
G
I wanna be the 2015 Batman
C F
And send Ben Affleck packing
Bb D
If you ain't gonna treat Jennifer Garner right
You don't deserve to have that
G
You better pass that to the homie Matt Damon
C F
He'd eat the booty like Pac Man
[Hook]
Bb
You know I feel good about this place
D
You know I feel good about this steak
G
You know I feel good about this shake
C F
You know I feel good about these plates
Bb
You know I feel good about this crepes
D
You know I feel good about this cake
G
You know I just love how it tastes
C F
I'm not gonna wait, I'm not tripping about my weight, no
[Verse 3]
Happy New Years
D G
Everybody got a resolution
C F
But the next day, we forget about it, never do 'em
Bb D
I went to the gym and got a membership
G C F
Five minutes on the treadmill and I never lift
Bb D
That was four years ago I should probably cancel this
G C F
But they tell me I gotta do it in person, ain't that a bitch?
Bb
But tomorrow though, I'mma get fit
D
Get me a fuel band and a fit-bit
G
Get me some workout shoes, and a bench press
C F
Some Lulu Lemons and a french press
Bb
I'mma finally focus do some private yoga
D
Exercise my shoulders, I'mma hide the donuts
G
Realign my posture, no time for sofas
C F
I'm finally sober, no lime Coronas
Bb
But again, that's tomorrow
D G
And today, man, I gotta go in cause it's my last day
C F
Before I lose that weight, I gotta get one last plate and go big
Bb
I ate all night, Kool-Aid on ice
D
I woke up and I felt like shit
G
And I said, "You know what, man, fuck it
NC
I should probably start on Monday instead"
Motherfucker let's eat
[Hook]
Bb
You know I feel good about this place
D
You know I feel good about this steak
G
You know I feel good about this shake
C F
You know I feel good about these plates
Bb
You know I feel good about this crepes
D
You know I feel good about this cake
G
You know I just love how it tastes
C F
I'm not gonna wait, I'm not tripping about my weight, no
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