[Intro]
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[Verse 1]
         B                   B7                         E
brew the coffee in a bucket, double straight man and banjo
                     B                  E               F#7
if you don't got the snake oil, buster, you don't got a show
             B                                              E
who puts the doh-re-me in our pockets keeps the party going on?
                           B                 F#7               B
it's the man who sells the potions, i'm just one who plays the songs

         F#                 F#7               B
now they generally buys the bigger size, they usually rub it in
  E                 B            E                   F#7
i drank it once, it tasted, like grease and paraffin
     B                                        E
it's mostly alcohol, okay you can't deny it's strong
                         B                 F#           B
we was going through the motions, ‘til the doctor came along

[Chorus]
B                Ebm     E          B
there stands the bottle, ladies and gentlemen
E         B        E                  F#7
all these bottles, don't have to tell you, friends
B                               Ebm              E
these days miracles, don't come falling from the sky
                          B            B7    F#7 B
raise your glasses to the doctor, to a stand up guy

[Verse 2]
         B                              B7            E
when the monkeyshine is flying and he's promising the cure
                            B               E              F#7
he says the french for your lovesick blues, la maladie d'amour
            B                                        E
he gets the chumps all laughing but he gets a few to buy
                                B           F#7                 B
here's to beefsteak when you're hungry, and whiskey when you're dry


        F#                 F#7         B             B7
now the band'll blow their moolah,like sailors gone ashore
    E                   B           E                F#7
now we're going to west helena, to gamble, drink and whore
      B                             B7                 E
let's you and me, all make whoopee, here's mud in your eye
                           B              F#              B
here's to all the gals you ever want, and heaven when you die

[Chorus]
B                Ebm     E          B
there stands the bottle, ladies and gentlemen
E         B        E                  F#7
all these bottles, don't have to tell you, friends
B                               Ebm              E
these days miracles, don't come falling from the sky
                          B            B7    F#7 B
raise your glasses to the doctor, to a stand up guy

[Verse 3]
          B                        B7                 E
there's a big cheese with a cigar, been sizing up the show
                    B                E      F#7
he wants to get the doctor, pitching on the radio
       B                                B7              E
i will make a switch to guitar, but the rules all still apply
                       B                F#7             B
they want to trust somebody, yeah, they want a stand up guy

[Chorus]
B                Ebm     E          B
there stands the bottle, ladies and gentlemen
E         B        E                  F#7
all these bottles, don't have to tell you, friends
B                               Ebm              E
these days miracles, don't come falling from the sky
                          B            B7    F#7 B
raise your glasses to the doctor, to a stand up guy
     B7    F#7 B
to a stand up guy