If you're a human being, take a break from the race
Take a load off your feet, wipe the load [or "nose"?] off your face
Got a lot to do and we do it for you
Everybody take your place

Muppets tonight!
You're gonna see something better
Tonight's the night!
You're gonna live with the memories
[or: "You're gonna hear things you've never heard"?]

We got a show for you
Guaranteed brand new
Here come the muppets tonight!

(whistling)

We got a show for you
Guaranteed brand-new
Here come the muppets
Here come the muppets
Here come the muppets tonight!