G
The bottom line's been snorted
C                      G
The bottom card's been dealt
D
No one knows like you know right now
C                G
How truly bad it felt

G
All your life you wasted, oh
C                  G
Dreamin' about the day
D
When worker bees kill off their queen
C                      G
And carry all her eggs away


[CHORUS]
C
Oh, and if you die fearing God
G             C
And painfully employed
G                      D
No, you will not go to heaven
             C          G
You'll go to Champaign, Illinois

G
Up north is Chicago
C                        G
Where booze makes no one blush
D
Memory comes back to you
C                   G
In a double bourbon rush

G
The memories aren't all bad
C                       G
And neither, my friend, are you
D
There is an argument that there must be some heaven meant
C                        G
For hearts that are half true


[CHORUS]
C
And if you spend your whole life
G                   C
Rollin' horses into Troy
G                      D
No, you will not go to heaven
             C          G
You'll go to Champaign, Illinois
G                      D
No, you will not go to heaven
             C          G
You'll go to Champaign, Illinois

G
Roll on blacktop highway
C                  G
Circles toward the sun
D
Springfield's in the distance
C                       G
And that's the last big one

G
After that comes judgment
C                    G
And judgment will be swift
D
You will be eliminated
C                    G
But here's a parting gift


[CHORUS]
C
Oh, and if you die fearing God
G             C
And painfully employed
G                      D
No, you will not go to heaven
             C          G
You'll go to Champaign, Illinois