When I was five my brother stole my lollipop.
My lollipop stole he.
But I didn't mutter, "Damn you hide,"
He needed candy more than I'd,
So instead of biting off his hand,
I just said, "Goo! I understand!"

When I was ten my mother trounced me with a mop.
With a mop trounc-ed she me.
But I didn't mutter, "Damn your eyes,"
I knew she needed exercise,
So instead of joining a gypsy band,
I just said, "Mom, I understand."

At thirty a man in a car ruthlessly ran me down.
He ruthlessly down ran me.
But I didn't mutter, "Damn your spleen,"
For a man's a man, but a car's a machine.
So instead of stripping him of his land,
I just said, "Jack, I understand."

Now I'm forty-five and I've met Claire,
We're engaged to wed.
Engaged to wed are we.
But tonight I tell you, "Damn you, Claire,"
You played me evil and that's not fair!
So instead of remaining calm and bland,
I hereby do not understand!!!

Subway Ride and Imaginary Coney Island -
The Great Lover Displays Himself -
Pas de deux