They said the day we got together we'd fall in love like birds of a feather,
And that we'd have lots to share.
All that happened was me screwing up, i accidentally touched her bra cup.
Lighting my cigarette i accidentally set fire to her hair...
I guess what i said had a lot to do with it, she said i'm crazy and she said i smelled like sh*&%.
I tried to kiss her and i got bit...

Chorus
I guess i'm not getting laid
We went out to eat i sneezed in her food she punched me in the face and called me rude.
I thought the evening was going great.
I spilled her drink i ripped her dress. i accidentally grabbed her breast.
Elbowed her in the face trying to clean up my own mess.

Repeat pre-chorus and chorus

Instrumental

Chorus