Times are lookin' bleak
So, princess, take a peek
See, every day, it’s sink or swim
Famine's on the rise
With vultures circling the skies
And prospects, well, they're rather grim
Let me break you the news
The odds can’t be beaten
And a man's gotta choose
Will he eat or get eaten?
Does that dampen your day? Do the facts make you frown?
Wakin' up to the real world is bringin' you down?

Well, that sounds an awful lot like princess problems
Finally learnin' that life's not fair
Seems to me you got some princess problems
Ain't it crummy when folks won't share?
I could try bein’ kind or whatever you said
It’s just that I'm partial to not bein’ dead
So I'm stickin' to my plan
Of grabbin' all I can
’Stead of livin' in a fantasy
See, your princess problems don't apply to me

Charming speech, but are you done?
None for all and all for none
Such a gift of hope you give

Yeah, well, hope's in short supply
But still, we have to try
Well, how about we try to live?
So that's it? You give in?
Nah, you begin to get wise
'Cause you can't fix the world bakin' apple pies

Yeah, we got a classic case of princess problems
The castle's cozy, but it's cold outside
Sure, just write 'em off as princess problems
And stayin' selfish is justified
That was harsh, but I'm proud
Look at you, gettin' mean
Look, the kingdom needs help

You should go tell the queen
But I'm stayin' on the run
Lookin' out for number one
And that's the way it's gonna be
'Cause your princess problems don't apply to me
They don't apply to me