D        Em
I know you think
         D       C
I'm this perfect guy
            D                   A
But there's something I have to confess
  G                             F#m         Bm
I only hope it doesn't make you like me any less
           G          Bm
I got this tragic backstory
              G            Bm/F#
That's driven other girls away
      G               F#m
But I feel like I can trust you
          Em                  Asus4
You won't judge me for what I say
    Bm              G
The others couldn't handle it
          G                A
'Cause my story's just too sad
           Em             F#m
But here I go, you oughta know
  G              A
I have no mom or dad

(Dialogue)
Dsus2/A A A F#m A

[Verse]
      Dsus2             A
I had no one to bake me bread
Bm                A
No one to make my bed
Bm                     G
No one that teached me the difference
        G         A
Between right and wrong
      A         Bm
Or to sing me a song

[Chorus]
  G       Em
I long to be
        G           A       Bm
Just as strong as I used to be
          G          Asus4
But I was orphaned at...  thirty-three

[Instrumental]
Dsus2/A A A F#m A

[Verse]
      Dsus2             A
I had no one to hold me tight
Bm                    A
No one to kiss me goodnight
Bm                           G
No one to press and press up against me
G   A
And say
       A      Bm
"It'll all be okay"

[Chorus]
    G           Em
But hey, that's just
    G        A      Bm
The way life is for me
            G          Asus4
Since I was orphaned at... thirty-three

[Bridge]
     D           C
They called me a jerk-off
  D        C
A burnout, a punk
      D              C          G
But I can't let that junk in my head
G                      C
I could have been a contender
               G            C           Em
If not for the fact that my parents are dead
A
All things considered
  F#m                       G
I think I turned out pretty good
Bm                     A
Pulled myself up by my boot straps
            G              A
And started stealing all I could

[Verse]
               Dsus2             A
Still, there's no one to love me now
    Bm                       A
But I'll make it through somehow
Bm                         G
Despite being so sadly and crushingly
G   A
All alone

[Pre-Chorus]
    G
But I make a solemn vow
     G                      Bm
That when I have kids of my own
               Asus4
I'll break the chain, you'll see
G                 Bm   A
I'm gonna live forever!

[Chorus]
           G
So they'll know
    Bm
The pain of being
Bm         Asus4           D
Orphaned at... thirty-three...