Em                       A#m 
Gatesy: See the lonely township, peacefully sleeping.   
        Em                                  A#m 
        The sun hides once again behind the sea-ea-ea-ea-ea-ea....   
        Em 
        Most are safely dreaming:   
        A#m 
        Angel kisses...   
         
Yon:    (Makes \"kiss kiss kiss... flutter flutter flutter\" noises)   
         
        (Pause)   
         
Gatesy: Butterflies...   
         
Yon:    BWARK! BWARK! BWARK!   
         
        (Pause)   
            Em                          D 
Gatesy: But sinners can't escape so easily.   
            Am                              Em 
Yon:    The murderers, the thieves, and the fraudulent.   
            Am                                 Em 
Tripod: The overweight, the working-class, the foreigners.   
         
Scod:   Urgh!   
        Am                        Em 
Tripod: They all must beware, for what's that looming there?   
                D              B 
        An evil spectre on the sea!   
         
Scod:   Wooooaw!   
        Em           C  D 
Tripod: Ghost Ship!  
        Em           C  D 
        Ghost Ship!  
        Em 
        Ghost Ship!   
                  C        D 
Gatesy: Coming to get them...   
        Em 
Tripod: Ghost Ship!   
                   C    D 
Scod:   Sinners, beware!   
        Em 
Tripod: Ghost Ship!   
                   C    D 
Scod:   Ain't no escaping...   
                B (palm muted) 
Tripod: ... the Ghost Ship coming there...   
         
Yon:    Toot toot!   
         
        (Pause)   
         
Scod:   What was that, Yon?   
Yon:    What was that? It's the Ghost Ship - Toot toot!   
Scod:   Yon, it's gotta be scary!   
Yon:    Umm... right, yeah. TOOT TOOT.   
Scod:   Yon, it's the Ghost Ship, all right. It's gotta be really disturbing.   
Gatesy: Grrrrr....   
Yon:    Umm... oh! Milky discharge.   
Gatesy: Yeah!   
Scod:   Yeah!   
Gatesy: That's disturbing!   
Scod:   Spot on!   
         
            G 
Scod:   Its masts are made of piled-up skulls,   
            D 
        Its decks are made of human nuts.   
            C 
        Its sails are made of sailor skin.   
            D 
Tripod: Its guts are made of...   
         
Scod:   ... guts!   
               Em 
Tripod: It's a feat of engineering.   
           C 
Yon:    I wonder who built it?   
                                D 
Gatesy: I wonder who built it as well, Yonny.   
         
        G                           D 
Gatesy: Out of the night, under the ocean stars,   
              G                            Em                                D 
        I was standing with my baby on the boardwalk, and the Ghost Ship was there.   
       C                  G 
        I took her to the pictures,   
       Am                   Em   
        And then I took her home, yeah!   
       C                       G (Scod stops playing) 
        And then I took her to heaven, you know what I mean...   
 
 
Gatesy: And it was kind of dirty, and we got out the Glad Wrap...   
         
        (Audience cheer)   
         
Scod:   I don't want to stop it, but... umm... now, I'm just gonna go with  
        some of the audience reaction...   
Gatesy: Yeah...   
Scod:   ... and suggest that a few of the punters, they've spotted the same  
        inconsistency that I've spotted, Gatesy! Now, when did this suddenly  
        become about some woman?   
       
Gatesy: Ohh, I see, right! Well, I figured that if this Tosswinkle the Pirate  
        show was like a concept album, then this Ghost Ship song would be our  
        first single, yeah? And we want to make a bit of money out of this for  
        a change, yeah?   
        So if we want to get this... want to get this single selling - sure,  
        the guys, Dave, he loves that \"ooga booga\" scary stuff, with the galleon  
        and the water, and OOOH!, but the girls - as soon as you talk about love,  
        now you have the ladies listening. Ahh! Because the girls want to imagine  
        they're making love to the singer.   
       
        (Audience laughter)   
       
Gatesy: They're not supposed to laugh at that one.   
Scod:   Hmm!   
Gatesy: Go with me guys on this - a one-ie and a two-ie and a three-four.   
        Em          C 
Tripod: Ghost Ship!   
                D 
Gatesy: My baby kisses like a...   
        Em          C 
Tripod: Ghost Ship!   
                     D 
Gatesy: I touched my baby on her...   
        Em 
Tripod: Ghost Ship!   
                        C    D 
Gatesy: My trousers are bursting...   
       
Scod:   All right, all right, stop the train! Just a minute, all right, okay.   
        Sorry - \"I touched my baby on her Ghost Ship\".   
Gatesy: Yeah!   
Scod:   Now... where exactly is a woman's \"Ghost Ship\"?   
Gatesy: Don't you know?   
Scod:   know... I'm just seeing, you know, if it translates.   
       
Yon:    That... that's enough. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think you're  
        onto something, Gatesy. I think, you know, this whole love thing could be...  
        could be a bit of a... unit mover.   
Gatesy: I reckon!   
Yon:    Yeah! I mean, but, you're just coming in a little bit too fast, though, that's all.   
Gatesy: You reckon?   
Yon:    You know, you need to create a little bit of a mood, you know, get inside  
        the head of a female girl, you know? Can I give you an example of what I mean?   
Scod:   Sure.   
Yon:    After two - one, two.   
        Em 
Tripod: Ghost Ship!   
                      C     D 
Yon:    Expressing my feelings...   
        Em 
Tripod: Ghost Ship!   
                     C      D 
Yon:    Being a good listener...   
        Em 
Tripod: Ghost Ship!   
                        C    D 
Yon:    A thoughtful companion...   
       
Scod:   I don't even know what this song's about any more!   
Gatesy: So, it's like foreplay?   
Yon:    Yeah!   
Scod:   NO! It's not about foreplay! All right, it's not, it's about a horrible  
        spectral ship that comes to get sinners, all right?   
Gatesy: Well, what are they wearing? Is it sort of a leather thing with a...   
Scod:   No! For Christ's sake, will you just focus? Okay. There might be a woman  
        on it, but it's because she's a sinner. So it's more like, okay, scary, like:   
         
        G                                    D 
Scod:   The woman's a sinner, she's gonna be dragged away...   
            G                            Em                         D 
Gatesy: But not before I bone her on the boardwalk till the morning comes!   
        C                      G          Am                    Em 
Yon:    I bought a sentimental card, with flowers and a pink desi-i-ign.   
                  C             G 
Scod:   She'll be torn apart by demons...   
                                D 
Gatesy: While she's touching my buns!   
        Em 
Tripod: Ghost Ship!   
                   C      D 
Yon:    A caring environment...   
        Em 
Tripod: Ghost Ship!   
                     C    D 
Scod:   A den of the damned...   
        Em 
Tripod: Ghost Ship!   
                C   D 
Gatesy: Overtly sexual...   
        B 
Scod:   Murderous!   
Yon:    Empathy!   
Gatesy: Nude!   
Scod:   Banshees!   
Yon:    Thoughtful!   
Gatesy: ... Arse!   
        Em 
Tripod: Ghost Ship!   
       
Gatesy: Yeah! Give it to me!   
Scod:   You guys suck!   
Yon:    Yeah!   
Scod:   You're just encouraging him, don't!