Cifra Club


"Weird Al" Yankovic

Cifra: Principal (violão e guitarra)
Selo Cifra Club: esta cifra foi revisada para atender aos critérios oficiais da nossa Equipe de Qualidade.
tom: D
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A--3--    A--1--    A--3--    A--1--|
e|--1--    e|--1--    e|--1--    e|--1--|

                                                       F F
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy living in a box under the
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stairs in the corner of the basement of the house half a block down the
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street from Jerry?s Bait Shop? You know the place? Well anyway, back then
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life was going swell and everything was juuuuust peachy? except of course
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for the undeniable fact that every single morning my mother would make me
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a big old bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast. Daaaaaaaouh! Big bowl of
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G|--------10-----| F       F       F                              F F
D|---------------| Every single morning! It was driving me crazy. I said to

                                                    F F
my mom, I said, ?Hey mom, what?s up with all the sauerkraut?? And my dear
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sweet mother she just looked at me like a cow looks at an oncoming train.
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And she leaned right down next to me, and she said, ?It?s good for you!?
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        And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth
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and force|-fed me nothing but sauerkraut until I was twenty-six and a half
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years old. That?s when I swore that someday, someday I would get out of
                   F F                                         F
that basement and travel to a magical far away place where the sun is
                        B                            F
always shining and the air smells like warm root beer and the towels are
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oh so fluffy, where the shriners and the lepers play their ukulele?s all
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day long and anyone on the street?ll gladly shave you?re back for a
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nickel. Wakawakadoodoo yah! Well let me tell you people, that it wasn?t
                     F F                                       F F
long at all before my dream came true because the very next day a local
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radio station had this contest to see who could correctly guess the number
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of molecules in Leonard Neroy?s butt. I was off by three but I still won
                              F F
the grand prize. That?s right a first class one|-way ticket, to
F Fm7 B Bm7   F       B F F Fm7 B Bm7   F       B
A     -    lbuquerque,   A     -     lbuquerque! Ah yah, you know I never
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been on a real airplane before and I gotta tell ya it was really great.
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Except that I had to ist between two large Albanian women with
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excruciatingly severe body odour and the little kid in back of me kept
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throwing up the whole time. The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper
                 F F                                                   F F
and salted peanuts and the in flight movie was "Biodome" with Polly Shore.
And oh yah three of the airplane's engines burned down and we went into a
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tailspin and crashed into a hillside and the plane exploded in a giant
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fireball and everybody died! Except for me. You know why? ?Cause I had my
              B        F                        B
train table up, and my seat back in the full upright position, had my
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train table up, and my seat back in the full upright position, had my
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train table up, and my seat back in the full upright position. Ah ha ha
                         F F                                           F F
ha! Oh ha ha! Ahhhh. So I crawled from the twisted burnin? wreckage, I
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crawled on my hands and knees for three full days, dragging along my big
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leather suitcase, and my garment bag, and my tenor saxophone, and my
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twelve|-pound bowling ball and my lucky lucky autographed glow in the dark
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snorkel. But finally a arrived at the world famous ?Albuquerque Holiday
 F                                                  F F
Inn?, where the towels are oh so fluffy, and you could eat you?re soup
                                    F F
right out of the ashtrays if you wanna, it?s OK their clean. Well I
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checked into my room and I turned down the AC and I turned on the spectro
      B                                         F
vision and I was just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow
        B                             F
that I love so very very much when suddenly there?s a knock on the door.

F                                       F F                     F F
Well now who could that be? I say, ?who is it?? No answer. ?Who is it??
There?s no answer. ?Who is it!?? They?re not saying anything, so finally I
go over and I open the door and just as I suspected, it?s some big fat
    F                                                 F F
hermaphrodite with a flock of seagull?s haircut and only one nostril. Oh
        F F                                 F                       B
man I hate it when I?m right. So anyway he burst into my room and grabbes

my lucky snorkel and I?m like ?hey, you can?t have that! That snorkel has
  F                                                F F
been just like a snorkel to me.? And he?s like ?tough? And I?m like ?give
                  F F                                 F           F
it.? And he?s like ?make me.? And I?m like ?k.? So I grabbed his leg and
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he grabbed my oesophagus and I bit off his ear and he chewed off my
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eyebrows and I took out his appendix and he gave me a valonic irrigation
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yes indeed you better believe it. And somehow in the middle of it all the
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phone got knocked off the hook, and twenty seconds later I heard a
                                      F F
familiar voice, and you know what it said, I?ll tell you what it said, it
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said, ?if you?d like to make a call, please hang up and try again. If you
      F        B        B              F  B                F       F
need help hang up and then dial you?re operator. If you?d like to make a
 B      B     B   F       F    B        F        F        B        B
call, please hang up and try again. If you need help hang up and then dial
       F   B        F Fm7 B Bm7   F       B F F Fm7 B Bm7   F
you?re operator. In A     -    lbuquerque,   A     -     lbuquerque! Well
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to cut a long story short he got away with my snorkel. But I made a solemn
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vow right then and there that I would rest, I would not sleep for an
   F F                                                   F F
instant until the one|-nostriled man was brought to justice. But first I
                                  F        F              B           B
decided to buy some donuts. So I got in my car and drove over to the donut
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shop and I walked right up to the guy behind the counter and he says ?yah,

wadaya want??
E|-13--------11--------------11131618------------------1113-| it ain't per--|
B|-------------1311--------13--------1816----------1113---------------------| fect but it'l
G|-----------------1311------------------171513--13-------------------------| give you some
D|---------------------1310--------------------15---------------------------| thing to do
A|--------------------------------------------------------------------------| till  you fig
E|--------------------------------------------------------------------------| ure it out
             F F                                F F
I said, ? you got any glazed donuts?? He said, ?naaa were all out of
                       F F                                F F
glazed donuts.? I said, ?well you got any jelly donuts?? He said, ?naaa
                                     F F
were all out of jelly donuts.? I said, ?you got any Bavarian cream-filled
           F F                                                      F F
donuts?? He said, ?naaa were all out of Bavarian cream-filled donuts.? I

                                          F F
said, ?you got any cinnamon rolls?? He said, ?naaa were all out of
                     F F                                       F F
cinnamon rolls.? I said, ?you got any apple fritters!?? He said, ?naaa
                                   F F
were out of apple fritters.? I said, ?you got any bear claws!!?? He said,

?wait a minute, I?ll go check.


                             F                           F F
Naaa were out of bear claws.? I said, ?well in that case, in that case
                 F F                                                 F F
what do you have?? He said, ?all I?ve got right now is this box of one
dozen starving crazed weasels.?G------| I said, ?OK I?ll take that.? So he
 F                        B                        F
hands over the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out and they
   B                          F
immediately latch onto my face and start biting me all over ayiyi
                                              F F                     F F
yiyiyiyi. Oh, oh man they were just going nuts! Their terin? me apart. You
                                                                   F FF
know I think it was just about that time that little ditty started goin?
              B BB                     F FF                 B BB
through my head. I believe it went a little something like this.
 F  F  F  F   B  B  B  B   F  F  F  F   B  B  B  B   F  F  F  F   B  B  B
B   F  F  F  F   B  B  B  B  F F
hohhhiahhooohahahahhhohhhhh!? I ran out onto the street with these flesh
       F F                                                   F F
eating weasels all over my face, waiving my arms all around and just
                                                         F F
runnin? and runnin? and runnin? like a constipated wiener dog. And as luck
                      F F                                          F F
would have it, that?s exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams, her
              F F
name was Zelda. She was a calligraphy enthusiast with a slight overbite
  F F                                 F F
and hair the colour of strange peaches. I?ll never forget the very first
                   F F                                              F
thing she said to me, she said, ?hey, you got weasels on your face.?

                            F F
That?s when I knew it was true love, we were inseparable after that, oh we
F F                              F F
ate together, we bathed together, we even shared the same piece of mint-
                     F F                              F
flavoured dental floss. The world was our burrito. So we got married and
    B                         F                       B
we bought us a house and had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and
        F                            F F
Superfly. Oh we were so very very very happy, oh ya. But then one fateful

night Zelda said to me, she said, ?Sweetie|-pumpkin, do you want to join
                         F FF F B BB          F      B
the Columbia Record Club??          I said, ?Wooooah hold on now baby, I?m
 F                       B                        F
just not ready for that kind of a commitment.? So we broke up and I never
                          F    F     F      F         F Fm7 B Bm7   F
saw her again but that?s just the way things go, . In A     -
    F     B   F Fm7 B Bm7   F
lbuquerque,   A     -     lbuquerque!


                                                        F F
Anyway then things really started looking up for me, because about a week
                           F F                                   F F
later I finally achieved my life|-long dream. That?s right I got me a part
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time job at the ?Sizzler.? I even made employee|-of-the|-month after I put
                            F F
out that grease|-fire with my face. Oh ya everyone was pretty jealous of me
F F                                    F F
after that. I was getting lota attitude. OK like one time, I was out in
                       F F                                         F F
the parking lot trying to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil, when
                                             F F
I see this guy Marty tryin? to carry a big old sofa up the stairs all by
                         F F
himself. So I-I say to him, I say, ?hey, you want me to help you with
    F F                                        F F
that? And Marty he just rolls his eyes and goes, ?nooooo I want you to cut
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off my arms and legs with a chain saw.? So I did. And then he gets all
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indignant on me, he?s like, ?hey mad I was just being sarcastic.? Well
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that?s just great, how was I supposed to know that? I?m not a mind reader
                     F F
for crying out loud. Besides now he?s got a really cute nickname ?Torso

F F   G|-------------------------------------19-15-17-17-13-15----|
Boy?. D|-------------------------------------------------------15-| So

what?s he complaining about? Say that reminds me of another amusing
       F F                                                   F F
anecdote; this guy comes up to me on the street and tells me he hasn?t had
                         F F
a bite in three days. Well I knew what he meant but just to be funny I
 F F                                               F             F
took a big bite out of his jugular vein, and he?s yelling and screaming
and bleeding all over and I?m like, ?hey come on don?t you get it?? But he
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just kept rolling around on the sidewalk bleeding and screaming, YAHHHH!
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OHHHH! AHHHH! And I?m completely missing the irony of the whole situation,
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man some people just can?t take a joke you know? Anyway, um? um? where was
 F F                             F F                    F F
I? Kinda lost my train of thought. Oh, uh, well oh okay anyway I know it?s
                                F F
a roundabout way of saying it but I guess the whole point I?m trying to
           F     B F                         B
make is, I, HATE, SAURKROUT! That?s all I?m really trying to say, and by
            F                     B
the way if one day you happen to wake up and find yourself in an
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exsulstential quandary full of woeing and self doubt and wrapped with the
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pain and isolation of you?re pitiful meaningless existence, at least even
                     B                       F
take a small bit of comfort in knowing that somewhere out there in this
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crazy old mixed up universe of ours, there?s still a little place, called
F Fm7 B Bm7   F    B   F Fm7 B Bm7   F       B     F           B
A     - lbuquerque,   A     -     lbuquerque! Albuquerque, Albuquerque,
    F            B           F             B            F
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque,
    B               F     B     F     B      F       B       F F B B F F B B
Albuquerque, I say  A, A, L, L, B, B, U, U? QUERQUE! QUERQUE!
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Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque,
B   B        F   F        B   B        F   F        B   B
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque,
F   F        B   B        F   F        B   B        F   F
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque,
B   B        F
Albuquerque, Albuquerque,

D|------------------------------------------1/3-3-3-3-| (drum solo)
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