C                                      G
Oh my god there's scenesters everywhere
C                                      G
With their hair gel and their vintage t-shirts
C                                      G
Why didn't the shins come to phoenix?
C                                      G
And why didn't mirah come to phoenix?

Am
Because the modified is too small
E
And the marquis is too big
C
And the complex is rightfully dead
F                            Am                E                  
And the hipsters with their snide comments and aversion to applause
C   G
C                                      G
Oh my god hardcore kids everywhere
C                                             G
With their hair gel and their color green
C                   G                C                            G
How do they look so good while their convictions remain so strong?

              Am                                     E
Because their hair gel that they use isn't tested on animals
          C                             F
And their swallow tattoos are fucking lame
    Am                       E
And cocaine is essentially vegan
         C                 F
And they don't give a fuck anyway
           C [pause]           G [pause]
They're so vain, and yes, this song is about them
C                                      G
C                                      G
C                                      G
Oh my god post-hardcore kids everywhere
C                                      G
With their violence and pomposity
C                                      G
So fucking straightedge getting high off of self-righteousness
C                                      G
And praying to a sideways cross
   Am        E             C                       F
So urban, so infantile, so angry, so young, and so poor
Am                       E [pause]               
They don't need to use a crutch 'cuz they've got the wheelchair
C                                      G
C                                      G
Oh my god there's assholes everywhere
C                                      G
Pretentious fucking assholes everywhere
C                                      G
Oh my god there's assholes everywhere
C                                      G
Pretentious judgmental assholes everywhere 
End on G.