Fmaj7                                   G
I never heard such shit in all my life
Fmaj7                                G  Dm   E
I hoped one day to mold you into the perfect wife
E
But you blew my hopes sky-high

                  Am
The bitch went nuts
         C
Started talking 'bout politics
G
In front of all my bosses
   Dm
Bullshit from the internet
                  Am
The bitch went nuts
           C
I'll never be a partner at this rate
G                           Dm
Not with Jane fucking Fonda Jr. as my date
        Fmaj7  F6  Fmaj7
Oh no!
Fmaj7  G   Fmaj7  F6  Fmaj7
Oh     no, no!
Fmaj7  F6
Oh!

(Solo over Am)

A capella ***                                                           (Trill over Am)
It took me and a couple of men to restrain her, you should've seen her
A capella ***                                                        (Trill over Am)
When she freaked out and keyed John Franklin Jr.'s brand new Beamer

Fmaj7                                           G
She called us bigots with her fist in the air
Fmaj7                                     G  Dm  E
And as she did they all could see all her armpit hair
E
Now they think that I'm a fucking asshole

                  Am
The bitch went nuts
        C
Started talking about vegetables
        G
To the wives of my coworkers
      Dm
Yeah, cruelty to animals
             Am              C
She thinks because she reads books she must be smarter
     G                                Dm
But now when I close my eyes, I'll be fucking Jimmy Carter
        Fmaj7  F6  Fmaj7
Oh no!
Fmaj7  G   Fmaj7  F6  Fmaj7
Oh     no, no!
Fmaj7  F6  Fmaj7   G
Oh,    no no!
Fmaj7  F6
Oh, no no!

Am                      G                Dm
Couldn't you have just nodded and smiled, from nine to twelve P.M.
        C6                              G
Instead of telling your conspiracy theories
         Dm
To all my bosses
          E
And all my friends?

                     Am
The bitch went nuts (Nuts!)
        C
Started putting down the Christians
     G
And all about what the white man
Dm
Did to the Indians
            Am           C
How could I know that she never done blow before?
     G
She shouted, "Fuck Dick Cheney!"
         Dm
Then she puked on Franklin's floor
        (Solo on Am/C/G/Dm chords)
Oh no!

        Fmaj7  F6  Fmaj7
Oh no!
Fmaj7  G   Fmaj7  F6  Fmaj7
Oh     no, no!
Fmaj7  F6  Fmaj7   G
Oh,    no no!
Fmaj7  F6
Oh, no no!