G                                 C
My baby don't want fancy things.  No diamonds, furs, or limousines
G                                          D
She just wants my lovin all the time.
G                                       C
When I'm at work, she still wants more, there is one thing she's beggin for
G                D                   G
to fill the void when I'm not by her side.


Chorus
C                             G
A multi function jumbo dong,  waterproof 12 inches long 
A7                              D
with a G spot stimulator and a suction cup to attach to the table
C                           G
Vibroshaft, rotating beads, cyberskin with 7 speeds
A7                               G
the Cadillac of hand held rubber wangs.

Verse 2:

G                                   C
So i went down to the sex boutique, to find the toy that's so unique
G                                                  D
That takes my place when I'm not by her side.
G                                    C
And there I found much to my shock, her lifelike toy was out of stock
G               D                       G
So I asked the clerk to show me what he had.

Chorus 2:
C                                          G
he had remote controlled vibrating thongs, mulitcolored double dongs
A7                       D
A g spot stimulator that kind of looked like a miner's helmet
C                                G
A backdoor buddy, a latex fist,  that's right I said a latex fist
A7                                        G
and a rack of 4 inch weiners, marked half off.


Verse 3:

G                                   C
And there it was, it caught my eye, behind the fist and spanish fly
G                                         D
It was the one she wanted all along
G                                  C
I drove back down to her place and found my best friend on her face
G                       D                   G
I shoved that latex toy where the sun don't shine.


Chorus
            C                        G
It was a multi function jumbo dong,  waterproof 12 inches long 
A7                             D
with a G spot stimulator and a suction cup to attach to the table
C                            G
Vibroshaft, rotating beads, cyberskin with 7 speeds
A7                          D
that SOB will never be the same
C                                   G
He won't forget this love affair.  That toy's still in his derriere
A7                                   G 
And now I wish I'd bought that latex fist.