Johnny:
If I had my druthers
I'd druther have my druthers
Then anything else I know.
While you'd druther hustle
Accumulatin' muscle
I'd druther watch daisies grow.
While they're growin' slow an'
The summer breeze is blowin'
My heart is overflowin' and so.
If I had my druthers
I'd druther have my druthers
Than anything else I know.

Robert, you think you could agree with that kind of philosophy?

Bobby:
Agree? I live it!

If I had my druthers
I'd druther have my druthers
Then work any whereas at all.

Johnny:
Don't nobody call.

Bobby:
It ain't that I hates it
Why, in fact, I even contemplates it
While watchin' raindrops fall.
I sits there for hours
Developin' my powers
Of figurin' how flowers gets tall.
If I had my druthers
I'd druther have my druthers
Then anything else at all.

Johnny:
If I had my druthers
To choose from all the others
I'd druther be like I am.

Bobby:
I like you just the way you are.

This thing called employment
Detracts from my enjoyment
And tightens my diaphragm.

Johnny:
Oh, you poor lamb!

Whilst I'm doin' nary
A thing that's necessary
I'm happy as a cherrystone clam.

Bobby:
Some of my best friends are clams!

If I had my druthers
To choose from all the others
I'd rather be like I am.

Both:
If we had our druthers
We'd rather have our druthers
Than anything else we know.
Our forefathers wrote it
And often times we quote it
Whenever we're feelin' low.

Bobby:
Monsieur John?

Johnny:
As direct descendants …

Bobby:
We figure independence …

Both:
Ain't only in Missouri and so.
If we had our druthers
We'd rather have our druthers
Than anything else we know.

Johnny:
Why sho' …

Both:
Than anything else we know …

Bobby:
Yebo' …

Both:
Then anythin else we know …
Enco' …
Than anything else we know.

Bobby:
Goodnight.

Johnny:
Leave a call.