When I'm at home, I watch TV
Then I don't get so lonely for my mommy, my mommy
Daddy gets home from work so late
That's okay 'cause he pays for the cable, and that's so great

My mother's mother's mother never had any other mothers
Just a father and a mother there to bother one another

Reading puts me to sleep so fast
I'm glad reading has become a thing of the recent past
Good thing I don't live in England
I'd pay tax and get four stations to pick from
That's so dumb

My mother's mother's mother never had any other mother
Just a father and a mother there to bother one another

Now I'm a man, I don't live with Mom, I ain't got no TV to watch
So I'm gonna buy a TV today, Sony, no payment until the end of the
Yeah, got to check this deal out, no doubt, there's 32 inches of radiation I'm craving
Box it up, I'm ready to buy, no lie, just look at it, Kai
Won't it look nice in my living room?
I'm watching TV today, the satellite way, no contrast buzz annoying me
I got four-channel sound, surround, and look what I found, knee-replacement surgery on TLC
What you learn when you turn on a TV, there's no place I'd rather be than here with my TV
They say I watch too much TV, they're right, I haven't the might, or will to shut off my TV
'Cause I love my TV