It's one day after christmas
I'm crabby and i'm broke
I'm so full of ham and fruitcake
I think i'm gonna croak
It's nice to see the relatives
I wonder when they'll leave
The've been camping in my bathroom
Since early christmas eve
They're eating everything in sight
And sleeping in my bed
I been sacked out in the basement
With my beagle fred
The relatives have all gone out
And left their screaming brats
The toilet bowl is all clogged up
And i can't find the cat

Chorus:
It's christmas time at my house
The relatives are here
They eat me out of house and home
And drink up all my beer
I love the decorations
And the sleigh bells in the snow
But i wish those pesky relatives
Would take their kids and go home

Those cookie crunchers fed the dog
A twenty pound rib roast
His feet are sticking in the air
Like skinny old fence posts
Now they're in a free for all
The girls against the boys
They're fighting over boxes
'cause they're bored with all their toys

My mother-in-law is snoring
In my favorite tv chair
Those kids are stringing lights on her
And tinseling her hair
I oughta wake her up before
The fireworks begin
But i wanna see those blue sparks fly
When they plug her in

(repeat chorus)